it's hard living your life on the knife's edge.
computers marginally infected with spyware: 1
cars wth engines about to explode: 1
dysfunctional yet satisfying long-term relationships: 1
nights a week i eat with my parents: 3
postings on overheardintheoffice.com: 1
it CAN'T be bad to feel like i do
except for it's spiraling out of control
(and i hate not having that crucial control)
it's been like this so long
i am so sad
90% of the time
and i hope for something different
but the truth is,
you're too much of a good thing
what happened to me
a year - a year and a half
i have friends and it's wonderful
things are good n' busy but good is good and i'll take it anyday over bad
fucking bitch though. so much to do - so little time. the entire "LIFE CHANGE" is ridiculous in its own right....
i spent 75% of my lunch hour crying at the grave of my cousin, who committed suicide over 10 years ago. it is a beautiful day. i wish i was still there.
now i am left wondering why...if you can't eat a hot pocket with your hands, where's the value? doesn't the value lie in the fact that it is a "portable" food? mmmm. lunch.
I thought I had a great love - so great it drove me to write
and this love, it gave me black eyes just out of rage and spite
it cultivated for me a massive crop of bruises
and taught me she who wins a heart almost always loses.
but I still follow all the brightest lights
thinking they are comforting for I am full of fright
the lights shimmer and dance - I'm hypnotized
to bask in their brilliance, I'd give up my pride
and always, I do - they should call me a doormat
put on your workboots and I'll just lie flat
I'll never learn - despite permanent damage
Poor judgement's not a trait that's easy to manage.
i am an awful, horrible, soulless person whose conscience abandoned her long ago. who thinks she can love passionately, but is it passion if it's hurting a lot of people around her?
i'm depressed and broke.
hard to do anything about either one if i don't want to change.