i am not superwoman.

naragansettsky @ 2009-01-18T10:29:00

2009-01-18T15:30:18Z

it's hard living your life on the knife's edge.

the numbers so far

2009-01-15T22:35:53Z

computers marginally infected with spyware: 1
cars wth engines about to explode: 1
dysfunctional yet satisfying long-term relationships: 1
nights a week i eat with my parents: 3
postings on overheardintheoffice.com: 1

damn...

naragansettsky @ 2008-09-29T19:36:00

2008-09-29T23:37:25Z

it CAN'T be bad to feel like i do
except for it's spiraling out of control
(and i hate not having that crucial control)

it's been like this so long
why can't it be different sometime?

naragansettsky @ 2008-09-01T10:28:00

2008-09-01T14:29:00Z

i am so sad
90% of the time
and i hope for something different
but the truth is,

you're too much of a good thing
and i'm hooked

what happened to me
and what happened to our morals?
what happened to letting go
and letting the coals smoulder til they were black again?

a year - a year and a half
funny how fast the time flies
when you're fucking up everything you have
and all for being in love

black holes and...

2008-07-30T15:42:08Z

revelations:

i have friends and it's wonderful

things are good n' busy but good is good and i'll take it anyday over bad

fucking bitch though. so much to do - so little time. the entire "LIFE CHANGE" is ridiculous in its own right....

naragansettsky @ 2008-05-30T13:57:00

2008-05-30T17:59:12Z

i spent 75% of my lunch hour crying at the grave of my cousin, who committed suicide over 10 years ago. it is a beautiful day. i wish i was still there.

now i am left wondering why...if you can't eat a hot pocket with your hands, where's the value? doesn't the value lie in the fact that it is a "portable" food? mmmm. lunch.

naragansettsky @ 2008-04-18T11:31:00

2008-04-18T15:32:00Z

I thought I had a great love - so great it drove me to write
and this love, it gave me black eyes just out of rage and spite
it cultivated for me a massive crop of bruises
and taught me she who wins a heart almost always loses.
but I still follow all the brightest lights
thinking they are comforting for I am full of fright
the lights shimmer and dance - I'm hypnotized
to bask in their brilliance, I'd give up my pride
and always, I do - they should call me a doormat
put on your workboots and I'll just lie flat
I'll never learn - despite permanent damage
Poor judgement's not a trait that's easy to manage.

naragansettsky @ 2008-03-10T16:57:00

2008-03-10T20:58:34Z

conclusion:

i am an awful, horrible, soulless person whose conscience abandoned her long ago. who thinks she can love passionately, but is it passion if it's hurting a lot of people around her?

memememememememememe

2008-03-05T18:32:26Z

stolen from emilybeingemily

Here's how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com (don't sign in)
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box
3. Copy the html and paste for the answer.

1. What's your first name?
Amara

2. What is your favorite food?
Beef stew

3. What school do you go to?
I don't

4. What is your relationship status?
confusing

5. What is your favorite color?
green

6. What are you listening to right now?
silence

7. What is your favorite movie?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

8. What is your favorite Disney princess?
Aurora

9. Favorite thing to drink?
water

10. Where is your dream vacation?
Nova Scotia

11. What is your favorite dessert?
chocolate cake

12. What do you want to do when you grow up?
stay alive

13. One world to describe yourself
ridiculous

naragansettsky @ 2008-03-05T13:01:00

2008-03-05T18:01:24Z

i'm depressed and broke.

hard to do anything about either one if i don't want to change.

naragansettsky @ 2008-02-11T09:59:00

2008-02-11T15:00:04Z

what do you do...when...

the status quo SUCKS but there's NO WAY of CHANGING it?

politicality

2008-01-18T14:40:29Z

holy cannoli - who would have thunk it?

90% John Edwards
88% Barack Obama
86% Chris Dodd
84% Mike Gravel
83% Joe Biden
83% Hillary Clinton
83% Bill Richardson
77% Dennis Kucinich
39% Rudy Giuliani
33% Tom Tancredo
32% John McCain
27% Ron Paul
26% Mitt Romney
24% Mike Huckabee
16% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

naragansettsky @ 2008-01-18T09:22:00

2008-01-18T14:23:17Z

sometimes you can't help but just fall apart and cry all night
i gotta wonder how i felt about this last year - because the same emotions were there, just in a different capacity
but i am so ridiculously sad, and lonely this year - and it's such a different feeling for me.

naragansettsky @ 2007-12-28T09:54:00

2007-12-28T14:54:19Z

this...is...ridiculous ON SO MANY LEVELS.

naragansettsky @ 2007-11-14T13:19:00

2007-11-14T18:20:37Z

oh, the fierce hedonistic joy of the charleston mini-chew.

naragansettsky @ 2007-11-08T15:51:00

2007-11-08T20:51:19Z

but WHY?

various melodramatic reasons why this is an exercise in futility

2007-10-29T20:05:49Z

Sulky, surly -
And you won't ask me what's wrong
The line I walk is narrow and long.
The path I tread is beaten - so am I.
The load on my shoulders nearly breaks my spine
But still, you'll never take the time
To ask me why it is that I never smile.
Or why my sense of humor's in such steady decline.
Instead, when I cry, it's because of my ego,
My fractured, selfish nature - and that I can't let go.
That I can't go through life without playing the victim
And I must think that martyrdom is better than wisdom!
This life I live is rife with jagged edges
Call me dramatic, but that's just the way it is.
Some people take such a bad lot in life
Eternally faced with malice and strife.

sounds.

2007-09-05T23:03:28Z

into my arms, afraid
he fled--
trembled like a leaf as I held him there
strong body and all, shot through with sobs.
felt hot tears on my collarbone
and pursed lips, trying hard not to kiss
nothing I did could stop his anguish.
finally we both came to rest
I, with a heavy feeling in my chest--
found myself so suddenly possessed
Impassioned, he gripped me hard.
A gasp--
And guttural growls spawned primal need
clutching each other everywhere we could grasp.
light brushes of lips sparked longings unknown
plunged into a frenzy of lust
his hands pullled me to him, firmly and just--
every movement made waiting harder to bear
And to think, I was predisposed to not care!
So much for that - I lost myself.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-24T20:50:00

2007-04-25T00:52:30Z

sangria. afternoon. sunshine. there must be more days like this ahead.

thanks for covering my ass.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-21T10:44:00

2007-04-21T14:44:53Z

fate's just some fucked up whore without an agenda
she set me in her sights
and got her pimp to break my kneecaps.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-20T22:25:00

2007-04-21T02:27:03Z

goddamn, this weather is amazing.

i mingled a little downtown with some incredibly interesting characters. wow.

everyone was celebrating the holiday.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-16T19:33:00

2007-04-16T23:33:39Z

i don't know where to stop, or where to draw the line.

:-)

but i'm smiling.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-15T15:17:00

2007-04-15T19:18:46Z

bacardi stinger:

2 oz bacardi 151
2 oz amaretto
4 oz coke

amaretto first, then 151, in the bottom of a glass with some ice. fill with coke. drink slow. HOLY SHIT...

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-12T22:13:00

2007-04-13T02:15:42Z

ahhh, trying to stymie the alcohol with damn good extremely sharp vermont cheddar cheese. no more will the booze dance its hypnotic and invasive dance in my bloodstream.

naragansettsky @ 2007-04-12T20:53:00

2007-04-13T00:53:39Z

runnin' around with one sock and no shoes
finding out gradually
which things to say
and which things to choose to keep under my hat.